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Domesticated I Am Not!

Dec. 14th, 2005 | 07:21 pm

Some think I’m crazy
Plumb out of my head
For listing these reasons
I’m not leaving bed
My pillow’s real soft
My blanket’s nice too
There are dishes in the sink
And dusting to do
The bills need paid
And there are lessons to finish
These cobwebs in doorframes
Will never diminish
The TV is filled with nothing but gloom
The bathroom needs tidying
The floors need vacuumed
The dog needs a bath
There’s laundry to fold
The leftovers from last week
Are starting to mold
The hedges need trimmed
The weeds are growing
The garden needs tended
The yard needs mowing
My house is a mess
The roof sprung a leak
I’m up to my ears
For the next couple weeks
If only I had
The courage I said
I’d throw back the covers
And the cat would be fed


Charissa Struble, 2005

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Another Joyous Occasion

Nov. 22nd, 2005 | 09:40 am

I awoke from a deep sleep with the sensation that I was going to vomit again. I went to the bathroom but couldn't. I laid very still in my bed until I fell asleep. Needless to say, I feel exhausted and terrible today. I really should go to the doctor but when you're on a limited income, insurance-less and trying to save money for an internship, you hardly can do just that. I think living here is killing me. Slowly. Methodically. Surely.

I can't wait to get to Florida. Only a few more weeks and I'm Disneybound! Hooray for the light at the end of the tunnel!

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Pressure....It's coming down on me....

Nov. 16th, 2005 | 10:14 am

I am under an enormous amount of pressure right now. Not only have I worked my 90th day in a row without a day off, I'm buried under a sea of homework, final reports and projects. My brothers are coming for Christmas and I have an entire house to clean and spruce up before their arrival. My garage is a disaster and a potential fire hazard. The time I'm spending writing about all this could be used more efficiently I'm afraid but I can't stand not having a free moment to myself anymore. I'm seriously reconsidering my entire plan for my life. Where is that cheap little home on wheels that I've wanted so long? I would seriously sell everything I own to have the freedom of going wherever I want to go, whenever I want to go there. Anyone else understand how I feel?

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The Mess That Is My Life....

Nov. 8th, 2005 | 09:25 am

"With no left to save us from ourselves, who will we
become?"

I can't shake the feeling those words give me. Brought
to me in a dream, I'm not sure whether they invoke tears
of joy or of sadness. My mind is restless. I fear I am
doing too much in a vain attempt to forget my lonliness.
The distinct feeling I get when I remember how few people
I know or how restricted I am living here evokes emotions
I have yet to experience. Why am I always running away
from myself? What will it take to make me happy?

I woke from that dream in a sheer state of panic. I
couldn't breathe. My throat was tight and sore. My
insides felt like they were burning. My mouth was pasty
and foul. I ran to the bathroom and proceeded to get
sick. I brushed my teeth and seethed. My chemical-laden
throat was on fire. I remembered my mother's words. I
searched the fridge for something to stop the pain. Two
pieces of bread later, I laid down again. Within minutes,
I was asleep.

My alarm could not persuade me to move. I stayed in bed
longer than I needed to. I rushed to get to work on time
and in the process locked my keys (my only set) inside my
house. I could not get into Mrs. Hill's house and her
daughter had left for the day. At my wit's end, I
borrowed her neighbor's key and proceeded in getting her
ready for the day.

There is no entry in the house without breaking something.
No spare keys are available. I made sure of that after I
learned my family was letting themself into my home when I
was away. Now, I wonder why I am so smug. A broken
window means little to a broken girl like me. Will I ever
get myself together?

Grandma said the feeling I had in the night was most
likely a serious case of acid reflux. I'm sure she's
right but knowledge of it does little to ease my mind.
If my suspicions are correct, I most likely have an ulcer.
Always on the go, I don't have time to pity myself.

I hope life will be different when I move. I need a place
to start over. A place where a day off is not unheard of
and sleeping late is tolerated from time to time. I
cannot do what I am doing here. Working day and night,
seven days a week. Lifting a woman twice my
size a dozen times a day. Taking five classes and
cramming homework into overcrowded slots in my
schedule. I need to get away and wish that I could leave
sooner.

"With no left to save us from ourselves, who will we
become?"

I guess I will find that out soon.

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Stupidity Runs Rampant....

Oct. 30th, 2005 | 10:32 pm

So, you want to know what really chaps my hide? People who claim to be poor but manage to find money to rent movies and buy electronics. People who fail to clip coupons and eat at restaurants a few times a week. People who splurge on concert tees and take trips out of town for massages. People who don't know the meaning of being broke or living paycheck to paycheck! That's what irks me! Do you know that I: A)work 7 days a week, B)make just enough money to get by, C)hand out money to family and friends on a regular basis, D)buy gifts for family and friends on a regular basis, E)never shop without coupons, F)don't have cable or a telephone, G)take advantage of freebies. What makes other people better than me? Are my Salvation Army clothes not good enough for their expensive, nondesirable taste?

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Poor Katie!

Oct. 16th, 2005 | 01:36 pm

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I'm Going To Disney World!

Oct. 7th, 2005 | 06:22 pm

I was selected for Walt Disney World's College Program this week! I am so stoked. I will be spending January 24-August 11 in Orlando, Florida as a Merchandise employee. I have purchased my plane ticket, booked a hostel for the night before and even reserved tickets for Capone's Dinner and Show and the Pirates Dinner Adventure Show. I will be living in employee housing so my accomodations are taken care of. I will make sure to send you all my address before I go! I am hap, hap, happy!

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Sign Up!

Sep. 15th, 2005 | 11:08 am

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:(

Sep. 5th, 2005 | 02:40 pm

I'm so lonely that I could cry. Does anyone ever write letters anymore? What about using telephones? Is it really that hard to write an email? I saw four of my friends while in Ohio. Others were MIA. I thought that maybe they had forgotten that I was coming. I sent a dozen or so letters reminding people of my trip. Four went out of their way to see me. It was bittersweet and short lived. Now, I'm sitting here--alone and struggling to work full-time and take seven classes. All I need is some love. Send me some love people. This hurricane coverage is enough to send anyone off the deep end.

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Where It Stops, Nobody Knows....

Jul. 17th, 2005 | 07:01 am

Here's a little update about me:

My family is acting like buffoons. I am seriously reconsidering having a birthday party AGAIN this year.

I have spent more money than I really needed to but what the heck, that's why I work, right?

I really need to write everyone!

I will officially be done with my Health class as of today.
I should finish my Creative Writing class on the 28th.

I am counting the days until I go on vacation.

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